Doodles of Life: August 2015

Sunday, August 30, 2015

Umpan Balik Malaysia

I just finished Skyping (is this even a word?) with my family. As usual, I did all the talking and they did all the listening. lol. I told my mum that I really want to go back to Malaysia this December because I am kind of homesick right now. My mum was so delighted when she heard my plan. But I told her I am torn whether I should go back or not.

Firstly, because the return ticket is so expensive! The cheapest one that I can find right now is CAD 2,000. I don't think the price is gonna drop soon.

Secondly, because I only have 3 weeks of break. I don't think paying CAD 2,000 for 3 weeks of break is a good idea from my financial point of view. Well, I did go back to Malaysia last December even though I only had 3 weeks of break. But that's another story because my return ticket was relatively cheaper.

Thirdly, I will be graduating next year, insya Allah. I am thinking that I should just wait until my graduation if I really want to go back. Instead of paying CAD 2,000 to spend 3 weeks in Malaysia, maybe I can use that money to go somewhere else. 

But Mama being a Mama who misses her daughter so much, she insisted me to go back to Malaysia this December. Mama punya umpan, "Takpe Angah. Nanti Angah balik Malaysia December ni, Angah cakap je Angah nak makan apa. Mama masakkan semua. Kalau Mama tak pandai masak benda yang Angah nak makan tu, takpe. Nanti Mama dengan Ayah bawakan pergi kedai-kedai yang jual benda yang Angah nak makan tu. Makan banyak-banyak. Biar Angah gemuk sikit."

I laughed so hard, okay. Mum's love can be so funny sometimes. I mean I am already fat enough that I'm gonna cry, but my mum wants me to be fatter. Seriously, Mama? Am I not fat enough for you, Mama?

Umpan yang lagi up sikit, "Kalau Mama hantar duit buat tambah duit beli tiket, nak balik tak, Angah?" Ini punya umpan power sangat, okay. It made me feel guilty because it shows that she really wants me to go back. Despite nilai MYR yang tengah jatuh sekarang, she's willing to send me money. I obviously said no to her idea of sending me money. I know they need that money more than I am.

"Harap-harap harga tiket tu turunlah. Kalau tak turun juga, tutup mata, tahan nafas, beli jelah tiket CAD 2,000 tu." My mum laughed when I said this.

Well, even without the umpan(s), I am more leaning to go back to Malaysia this December. Maybe, just maybe I'm gonna go home this December. May Allah ease everything.

Friday, August 28, 2015

Full Moon

Full Moon
"It's a full moon here tonight, which makes me think of you. Because, I know that no matter what I am doing or where I am, this moon will always be the same size as yours, half a world away." - Nicholas Sparks

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Giveaway Souvenirs Dari Europe

Because visiting Europe seemed far-fetched to me. Tak dapat pergi Europe, dapat souvenirs dari Europe pun, jadilah ya. heheheh. Just kidding! Kak Aisya is back with her very own giveaway and contest.

http://jindrisska.blogspot.ca/2015/08/eh-eh-raya-dah-habes-ker-giveaway.html#comment-form
Click the picture to join :)

Segmen "Meh Sally Nak Review"

Join this segment to show my support for this lovely sister; kak Sally. Who knows? My very own Doodles of Life might be one of the lucky 10 blogs to be reviewed by kak Sally :D

Segmen Meh Sally Nak Review
Click the picture to join :)

Monday, August 24, 2015

Beautiful Day

It's funny how easy I got caught up in life that I forget to enjoy all the simple things that I used to treasure. Now that I only have two more weeks or less in Jasper, I realized that I have taken a lot of things for granted. The beautiful weather. The beautiful scenery. The beautiful people. The beautiful everything. 

Beautiful day

I'm so gonna miss Jasper after this. I hope I will not get a really bad withdrawal syndrome this time around.

On another note, guess who just missed a chance of her lifetime to see Northern Lights?!
This girl right here!
*brb crying*

Friday, August 21, 2015

The Struggles Of Having A Resting Bitch Face And Monotonous Voice


I want to highlight a problem that I often face as an introvert. Resting bitch face (RBF). But I would prefer to call it resting serious face. I am not a big fan of the bitch word.

And what make it worse for me is I have a monotonous voice most of the time. It makes me sound unenthusiastic and sound like I don't give a damn.

Resting serious face + monotonous voice = Failed social skill.

People keep thinking that I am always mad just because I have my serious face on. The thing is I have a resting serious face. And I always have a serious face when I am concentrating on something. Reading, working, anything.

One time, James suddenly said "That's the smile that I wanna see, Farah. You should smile a lot." to me. And I, as usual, being such a clueless person replied him, "Pardon?" Apparently, according to James, I always look so serious when I am working. He even said I always have this face that says "Don't talk to me. I'm so busy. Can't you see? I don't want to talk to you." That's why he was excited to see my smile.

I laughed so hard after I heard that. But I felt so sad after that because people misinterpreted my serious face.

John, my colleague once kept calling my name, "Farah! Farah! Farah!" which I responded by raising my eyebrows as a sign of "What? What do you want from me?". He later said, "Smile, Farah! Smile. Why you look so serious today?" I just brushed his question off with my awkward smile. "There you go, Farah! Smile."

As for my voice, I can't help but sound monotonous most of the time. Especially when I am answering phone calls. That's why I prefer texts over phone calls. I don't usually answer phone call except if the calls come from my family or my workplace. And I only sound enthusiastic when my family or friends is the one who's calling me.

One time, James called me. He sounded so excited and cheerful. But I answered his call with my usual monotonous voice. Oh and I sounded skeptical too (according to James).

"Hello!"

"Hello, Farah! This is James"

"I know."

"I'm calling to see how the Guelph people is doing. Your number is Guelph number, right?"

"Har! Har! Yes, it's Guelph number" 

"How are you?"

"Goooooooooooood?"

"Why you sound so skeptical, Farah?"

"No, I'm not. I'm just wondering why you call me?

"Someone called in sick today. I'm wondering if you want to come in today and get extra hours."

"Urmmm, sure. When do you want me to come?

"Can you come around 2 PM?"

"Errrr, can I come at 4 PM instead?"

"Sure, sure. Just take your time. You just have to come before 4:30 PM."

"Okay then."

"Thanks, Farah. See you later. Come with smile, okay?" 

"See you!"

Apparently it was not enough for James to point out that I sounded skeptical. He also made a point that I should leave my serious face back at my room and wear a smile to work.

T.h.a.n.k. y.o.u, James!

Sometimes, I wish people will understand that I'm not mad all the time when they see my face, and I do care or I do give a damn when they hear my voice. I'm okay and I'm perfectly fine even though I'm not smiling. You have my attention even though I sound like I don't care when I'm interacting with you. I just have this resting serious face and monotonous voice.

Monday, August 17, 2015

That One Time James Promised Me That I Will Have A Good Night

That one time James promised me that I will have a good night, I scoffed at him. Literally. Sorry James!

The next day after I snapped big time as mentioned in That One Time I Was Super Upset With One Of My Colleagues, James asked me to see him. My thoughts at that time; "Habislah aku! Mesti kena tindakan disiplin sebab bergaduh dengan rakan sekerja."

"How are you, Farah?"

"I'm good! Thanks. How about you?"

"I'm good. Thanks. How was last night? Was it hard for you?" 

"Honestly, it was hard for me. I was asked to stay for overtime but the machine was not working for almost my entire overtime shift."

"Was it just because of the machine or was there something else made you upset last night?"

"Uh-oh! Did someone say something to you? (I took few steps back from James) Someone must have said something to you." 

"(James nodded his head) Yes, Farah. Yes. I know what happened last night. But you don't have to worry. I am so sorry for what happened last night. Both machine and the situation that you were in."

"No, you don't have to say sorry. It's not your fault. You were not even here last night."

James smiled and then he further asked a question. The real reason why he asked me to see him. Dialog atas tu hanya untuk berbasa-basi sahaja. Almaklumlah, James ni polite sangat.

"Hmmm Farah, can you come back at 2 PM? T is working alone at 2 PM and as you know we need at least 2 people for every shift."

"Huh? You want me to come back at 2 PM? But, I have already signed in." (I guess I looked mad when I said this to him - My shift started at 1 PM. So going back just to come back an hour later was not my ideal option)

"Okay. Okay. Hmmm, can you stay until 10:30 PM tonight, then?" (James had this guilty face when he asked me the question)

"Yeah, I can stay until 10:30."

"Thanks Farah. You're the best!"

Then, I started working as usual. When I was 1/4 done with my shift for that day, James came to me and said, "Don't worry, Farah. I will make sure you will have a good night, tonight." And I was like, "Huh? Apa benda yang kau mengarut ni James?" James noticed my confused look and he then explained to me what he meant by that. 

"I'm gonna make you feel happy, Farah. I will make sure that T works really hard tonight. I'm not gonna let him lazying around."

T is the guy that made me upset by the way.

I scoffed when I heard the explanation. I was thinking to myself, "Yalah tu, James. As if I will have a good night. Kau bukannya akan stay sampai malam pun. Kau blah nanti, balik semulalah perangai T tu."

But to my surprise, James did stay until later that night. And, he did fulfill his promise to me. In a way, I think he's kinda bullying T. I felt so bad for T but I did secretly enjoy what James did to him. Ish ish ish. Maaflah ya, saya ni manusia biasa.

"T, faster! Faster!"

"T, you're gonna receive for the whole day."

"T, why you cannot keep up with the speed?"

"T, you have to go faster. You have to keep up with Farah's pace. She's gonna feed fast."

"T, you cannot be lazy today."

"T, you have to clean up this whole building with Farah. Do not let her clean up the building by herself."

"Farah, don't go slow. Just go with your usual speed. Do not slow down. It's even better if you can increase your speed. Let's make him suffer tonight."

I laughed so hard at the ridiculous situation. James kept calling T's name. He kept pointing out all T's mistakes. Kalau sayalah yang berada dekat tempat T masa tu, mahu jadi gila. Asyik-asyik dipanggil dan ditegur. And I will probably hate James if he did the same thing to me. Thank god I am in James' good books. Takdelah kena macam tu.

But honestly, James totally turned that night to one of my best nights in my department. Thank you, James! Will be forever grateful for that night :)

Saturday, August 15, 2015

Horseback Riding At Jasper Park Stables

Giddy up! Giddy up!

I went for horseback riding three Fridays ago! Wohooooooo! Alhamdulillah, it was such an amazing experience for me. I did not plan to go for horseback riding but Kelly, my colleague casually invited me to join her which I obviously said yes :)

Jasper Park Stables at the Fairmont Jasper Park Lodge
Jasper Park Stables

It was my first time going for horseback riding in Canada. And I totally loved every bits of the experience. I was so afraid at first because I did not know what to expect and how to control a horse. But alhamdulillah, everything went surprisingly well.

Horses at the Jasper Park Stables at the Faimont Jasper Park Lodge
Horses...

Horses at the Jasper Park Stables at the Faimont Jasper Park Lodge
and more horses.

We went for the Cowboy Up ride which is an hour and 1/4 ride. It is the cheapest ride that we can get (yes, we are cheapskates!) and it is suitable for us who have little or no experience with horse.

It is actually very easy to control horses provided that they are well-trained.You just have to pull the rein to make them stop. Pull the rein to right if you want to go to left and vice versa. And kick them (hard!) if you want to make them move. 

Kah! Kah! Kah! Cakap macam banyak experience. Walhal masa mula-mula tu rasa nak menangis sebab tak reti control kuda sendiri.

Pacer, my boy!

So, I got to ride Pacer. I honestly think he is either a rebel or he just does not like me. He did not really follow the horses in front of him and he kept walking to trees. I had to duck few times. Kalau tak, mahu bertelur ayam dahi sendiri. Well, I guess it was partially my fault. If only I know how to control him better :(

And I had to keep kicking him because he was too slow. Kelly said I should kick him harder. I think I have already kicked him harder sebab rasa kaki macam dah nak patah sebab asyik kick dia je. But still, he did not go any faster! And I cannot avoid to think that I am a bad person because I had to kick him more than 20 times in that one and 1/4 hour.

And according to Kelly, he kept farting! Poor Kelly. I feel so bad for her as she was riding her horse behind me. He also pooped sesuka hati dia even though Rufus' (Kelly's horse) face was very near to his ass. 

 Kelly and I.

I'm sorry for my language use but I have no idea how to word them properly. Tahukah anda yang kuda berak berjalan? I have no idea how they can berak masa berjalan. Tapi, kuda akan berhenti berjalan masa kencing. Interesting tak?

So, that's how my first horseback riding experience went. A little bit tiring but exciting and fun at the same time. I am planning to go for horseback riding in Banff or Lake Louise if I have a chance. Just so you know, the horses in Banff and Lake Louise are way bigger than what we have here in Jasper.

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

That One Time I Was Super Upset With One Of My Colleagues

I have a problem with one of my colleagues. This is something that I'm not really proud of because I usually blend quite well with other people most of the times. But this guy is an exception. He totally drives me crazy in a really really really bad way.

I even wrote series of tweets to convey my frustration. For your information, I only tweet when I am super happy, super sad, super mad, super confused, super frustrated and super others. Basically, I only tweet when I experience extreme emotion.

And, I am kind of people who try to avoid conflicts. I hate confrontation. Every time I do not feel satisfied or unhappy about something, I just shut my mouth and pretend like nothing happened. I usually walk away from said situation.

But this guy managed to press my angry button one night. I snapped big time! Well, he usually ticks me off by keeps asking, "Why I have to do this? Why I have to do that? Why I cannot do this? Why I cannot do that?" It is acceptable if he ask the question once in a while. But he asks the same question every freaking day. For god sake, we start working at the same day, but how come he does not know the answers to all his question?! 

But that's not the reason I snapped that night. I snapped because he made me feel like a beggar thrice that night.

Situation #1

"Can you help me to tie those towels? I did not have time to tie them just now."

"No!" (He answered without hesitation)

"What?! It's not that hard."

"I'm doing contract towels right now. I don't want things to get mixed up."

"Woah, really?! You know right there is no need for two people to do the same contract towels. And, it is freaking impossible to get those towels mixed up." 

"No. I'm not going to tie the towels."

"Fine then!"

Situation #2

"Can you help Jason tie the towels?" (Jason is my assistant manager if you don't remember)

"No, I don't want to."

"It does not matter if you want to or not. You should help him to tie the towels. For god sake, he's doing our job. You know he can just sit in his office and do his paperwork. Instead, he's feeding towels right now. You should help him!"

"I don't want to help him. He sent me to do this contract towels."

"Oh god! Really? As far as I know, he just sent one of you to do the contract towels. Not both of you."

"I'm still not gonna help him."

"Are you gonna act like this? You know what, I really feel like I'm a beggar right now. Asking for help from someone who will not help me." 

Situation #3 (This is when I snapped)

"So, you're not staying for overtime, right? Could you please send the wrinkled sheets or the napkins to the back before you heading home?"

"No, I don't want to."

"Really?! Then, could you please take out all the garbage then. Or could you help us cleaning up a little bit? It'll be hard for Sam and I to clean the whole place later if no one help us. It's gonna take you less than 10 minutes."

"No, I don't want to. Why should I?"

"Really?! You're asking me why?! Because we don't want Sandra to get mad at us! Because that's what we do here! That's our job! You get paid to do all these kind of stuff. And because we are a team. We help each other here!"

"No, I don't want to. I don't have to help you guys. They are not gonna pay for my extra 5 minutes."

"Fine then! Go and sign out now if you don't feel like helping us."

After 5 minutes.

"Why are you still here?"

"Well, I'm staying because I want to help Tash put the contracts in bag."

"Really?! You say no every time I asked you for help and make me feel like a beggar. And now, you're helping Tash even though she does not really need your help. We can help her if she needs our help. Just go and sign out now! Just go! Now!"

I still feel so bitter when I think about what happened that night. I don't like getting mad or yelling at people. I don't like being rude to other people but man, this guy made me do everything that I hate to do. May Allah grant me patience to handle this guy.

Sunday, August 09, 2015

"In the end, it won't be how you walked in the sun - but how you handled the storm - that will determine your success."

Quote from Yasmin Mogahed

In the end, it won't be how you walked in the sun - but how you handled the storm - that will determine your success.
How you managed the darkness inside and outside yourself.
It won't be about how you ran.
It'll be about how you fell, then got back up.
It won't be about your wins.
It'll be about how you took defeat.
Not about how you performed when strong, 
but how you did while bound and broken.
It won't be about your ability to walk.
It will be about your willingness to crawl - even when you're hopeless.
Not about what you did when you won.
But who were you after you lost.
Again.
Because character isn't made on shore.
Character is born in the waves.
The crushing kind.
The kind that tell you to give up because what's the point of trying and falling again.
The kind that tell you the ocean's too mighty for you, and you don't stand a chance.
You see, heroes aren't known by their trophies.
They're known by their scars.

Beautifully written by Yasmin Mogahed. See the original post here :)

Thursday, August 06, 2015

So Long, James!

James finally left Jasper for good (I assumed) yesterday. It is so weird going to work and not hearing briefing from him, or not seeing his car in front of the building, or not seeing his jackets hanging around in his office, or not seeing his mints on the office desk, or not seeing his business card on the office desk. Well, everything feels so weird and different since he left. Hmmm, let's not talk about it, okay?

So long, James! May life treat you kind :)
________________________________

Kak Farrah left a comment on What Makes A Good Manager yang berbunyi "So, no more stories ttg James laaaa...". Fret not, kak Farrah and anyone else who enjoy little stories about James, insya Allah ada je lagi few stories pasal James ni. 

Tapi, tak tahulah bila nak update. Lagipun, saya ingin memberi laluan kepada entries kenang-kenangan saya yang lain. Summer dah nak habis ni. Banyak lagi benda lain nak cerita. Takkan asyik nak update pasal James je, dak? Nanti orang confuse. Ini blog James ke, blog Farah? hahahahaha.

And to those who are wondering, kenapa asyik nak cerita pasal James je, let's just say that I was raised to appreciate every single person that left an impact in my life. And James happened to be that person among many others this summer.

Orang baik, kenalah selalu diingat-ingatkan. Betul tak?

Lagipun, rasa sayang sangat kalau our little interactions tidak diabadikan (gituuuu bahasanya!) dalam bentuk tulisan. Walaupun saya ni awkward potato dan jarang sangat bercakap dengan dia, he did a lot of small things for me yang mana saya appreciate sangat-sangat. So, he deserves a tiny space in my heart and my blog too. Serious la, kalau awak semua tahu apa yang dia buat, baru awak faham kenapa saya asyik mention pasal James ni.

Urmm, should I have a label about James on this blog? What do you think?

Saturday, August 01, 2015

Doa. Doa. Doa.

If you happen to follow me on Twitter, you must know that I have been feeling so negative for the past week. So, to change my mood a little bit, I decided to write this post. I have to remind myself that despite all the bad things that are happening in my life right now, Allah still loves me. He answered to my desperate prayers. And, He still answers to my prayers. Sesungguhnya Allah itu maha pengasih lagi maha penyayang.

Doa #1
I have been praying for this specific thing since I was form 3. Boleh dikatakan tiap-tiap hari berdoa untuk this thing sampailah awal tahun ni. Then, I stopped. Why? Because Allah finally has answered my prayer. It took me almost 7 years to get the answer. It was not the answer that I wanted yet I was happy. Because I know Allah knows best.

I'm so thankful that He answered my prayer after 7 years. I'm so thankful He didn't answer my prayer as soon as I prayed for it. Dia tak kabulkan doa saya masa saya masih lagi muda remaja. He answered my prayer bila saya dah matang sikit. I'm at the age where I know how to handle frustration a little bit wisely.

This is what I always say to my housemate regarding my prayer for this specific thing,

"Sedih juga sebab kita tunggu 7 tahun baru dapat jawapan. Dah tu, bukan jawapan yang kita nak. Tapi, alhamdulillah, nasib baik Allah jawab doa tu sekarang ni. At least kita dah kuat sikit. At least kita dah matang sikit. Takdelah nak frust menonggeng sangat ke apa ke. Kita pun busy sekarang. Takde masa nak bersedih sangat. Kalaulah Allah jawab doa kita awal sangat, mungkin takdelah kita yang sekarang ni kot. Tak sampai Canada kita agaknya."

Quote about prayer


Doa #2
I have been praying to be given a chance to meet this person. It felt almost impossible to meet this person. Tapi, itulah. Nothing is impossible for Allah. I guess I was desperate enough that Allah granted my prayer almost instantaneously. I got my first chance to meet and talk to this person, but I wasted the chance as I was not fully prepared for it. Nak jumpa sangat tapi bila dah ada peluang, tak nak pula guna. Rasa macam bodoh sangat pun ada sebab kita tak tahu kan bila kita akan ada peluang macam ni lagi. But what to do kan. I was a chicken.

Walaupun sedih sebab mensia-siakan peluang pertama, masih lagi terus berdoa agar dapat peluang sekali lagi. Then, I got my second chance after 6 days. Although I was not prepared to meet and talk to this person, alhamdulillah, I just grabbed the opportunity and fully utilized it. Alhamdulillah, everything went well. In fact, I feel privileged after I talked to this person.

So Farah, this too shall pass. Whatever that make you feel so negative will pass, Farah. Allah will not impose on any self more than it can stand. He loves you! Remember, He answered to your most desperate prayers. And He still showers you with His endless blessings :)
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